Sep. 21st, 2016 12:24 pm
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1.) Yes Anakin's fall to the dark side was in large part motivated from a desperation to save Padme no matter the cost, but you really can't discount that he had a very real bond of loyalty and trust towards Palpatine that couldn't just be immediately destroyed even by the revelation that Palpatine was a Sith Lord

2.) (I mean really, there are a hundred reasons behind his fall— and 99% of them are Palpatine's doing— like the way he'd been laying the groundwork for over a decade for Anakin to mistrust Jedi teachings, one of which happens to be that the Dark is never a real solution)

3.) but yeah. Anakin genuinely considered Palpatine his friend. was genuinely loyal to him. genuinely believed Palpatine was a wise leader who knew what was best. couldn't entirely separate out "but he's always been kind to me" from his motivations even when it became apparent that Palpatine must've been manipulating all of them all along

4.) (Anakin Skywalker does not make decisions on principle, he makes them on faith)

5.) He's loyal to his mom, to Palpatine, to Padme, to Ahsoka, to Rex and his men, to Obi-Wan. If he's loyal to causes it's because they're their causes

6.) he has always genuinely believed in benevolent dictatorships

7.) he doesn't want to be in charge of one, he just thinks everyone should trust Padme and Palpatine to make the right decisions and if someone doesn't trust them to, then that person is against them (and how dare they)

8.) seriously I get that it just sounds like I'm sorting him into the "evil" house but I'm still saying I think we should be sorting him into Slytherin more often than I see people doing

Jun. 24th, 2016 12:24 am
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the Clone Wars comics were really not for me— I am really not a comics person in the first place, and they didn’t manage to overcome my aversion— but I am definitely here for Mace Windu having apprenticed under an immortal polyamorous Entwife.

Apr. 14th, 2016 12:30 am
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fuck listen I know it’s irrelevant because of course she’s related to someone important and most likely the Skywalker family because this is Star Wars: The Skywalker Family Saga and also like, yes, ok, I did spend my childhood reading fantasy novels, I know what to expect when a mysterious child with mysterious powers is a protagonist and the story very carefully didn’t reveal anything about their family to the audience

(and if you’re not accepting the prequels or their attendant canons into your conception, then fine, that’s one thing, because this is based on prequel-era canon knowledge—)

but, oh, my kingdom for this fandom to acknowledge that FORCE-SENSITIVITY IS NOT JUST STRAIGHTFORWARDLY GENETIC.
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this is from Mamaloshen, meaning “mother tongue,” a CD of Mandy Patinkin (yes, Inigo Montoya) singing a bunch of songs in Yiddish, mostly folk songs but also a bunch of modern songs translated into it.  There isn’t a strong tradition of Yiddish in my family, or of Yiddish songs; my mother’s mother is still remembered in my mother’s hometown for having beautiful Polish, and my father’s mother for her beautiful German but moreso for her vast knowledge of Hebrew and its grammer and structure.  My family sings a few of these songs in Hebrew, actually (Der Rabbi Elimelech, Rozhinkes mit Mandlen, Papirosn, Belz, and Oyfn Pripetchek).  But Song of the Titanic is far and away my favorite track on this CD.  It’s not one I’d ever heard before, and I have no idea if it started its life as a Yiddish song or if it’s, like, actually from the movie Titanic, who knows, I never saw it because I was a strange and snooty fourth grader who largely refused to have anything to do with whatever her classmates were into.  Gosh, what was I even into in fourth grade?  I can’t remember.  Caves, I think.  Caves and Greek Mythology and throwing dandelions at boys.  Refusing to read Lord of the Rings because they were For Boys Who Were Interested In Violence.  Being spoiled for the ending of Star Wars, sort of; Luke beats Darth Vader in a lightsabre duel and gets his helmet off and Darth Vader is bald and has purple speckles and he says LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER, and Luke says “well, okay, I’ll let you go if you promise to turn good” and Darth Vader’s like “okay” and Luke’s like “okay” and then he walks away and then as soon as he’s gone Darth Vader puts his helmet back on and says “YOU WISH” and then the credits roll.

Honest to anything you care to name, I genuinely believed that was how those movies ended until I saw them for real in tenth grade.

  1. elsajeni said: To be fair, that is an EXCELLENT alternate ending for Star Wars.

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#I am eternally sad that a lot of my favorite characters would never ever in a million years be friends if they met

#like: Loki will never be friends with anybody

#Vimes will never be friends with kings

#Marcone will not be friends with anybody not loyal to either him or Chicago

#(or willing to help him help realize his plans for Chicago)

#(with a very clear well-laid-out bargain of exactly what they will want in return)

#(and that being something he is willing to pay)

#Thorin will not be friends with anyone not a dwarf of Erebor

#unless they prove beyond doubt that they have decided to throw in their lot with the dwarves of Erebor and share their danger

#and also not go against his decisions when he decides things in his capacity as King

#Temeraire might be friends with a great many people but Lawrence won't if they're against England in the war

#and Temeraire won't for Lawrence's sake

#Roy Mustang is perfectly willing to be friendly but he is also very done with fighting for someone else's goals

#and a lot of the others won't be friends with him if he won't fight for their goals

#Scar will not be friends with anyone but other Ishbalans and May Chang

#because he fights for his people

#and if you're not fighting for his people you may occasionally work together to achieve a mutual goal but that's it

#(May Chang wasn't on purpose but oh well they're friends now)

#Zuko is bad at people

#but he'd be willing to be friends!

#unless he's working on achieving a goal

#then sorry but hunting the avatar takes priority

#King Henry had friends once

#I think we all know what happened there

#Rumplestiltskin don't make me laugh

#Pellaeon is too busy running an Empire to have friends who aren't ~trusted subordinates~ first and foremost

#yeah Boromir is not going to be your friend if you're not actively helping Gondor

#(unless you are a hobbit and therefore fall into the category of 'noncombatant; to be protected')

#Javert has no friends Javert is the Law

#The Law doesn't have friends

#Garak will be your friend on his own terms

#they are not very reasonable terms though and if Julian is willing to meet them that's nice but no one else here is going to because gosh look at this enormous list of people with massive trust issues oh dear

#let's not even get into people like Edmund and Richard III and the Macbeths and Aaron and Tybalt and Claudius


#*everyone else on this list takes ten steps backwards and turns very pale*
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Narratives that revolve around fathers and sons. Eru Illuvatar above, am I ever sick of them. Because a.) Of course the child is male, why would we even question that ever, and b.) Half the time the mother of a child never even gets a name, let alone is allowed to, oh, have any kind of influence or pull over the child she goshdarn did *at least* half the work of raising. Lineage Comes From The Father as a trope is probably older than dirt, and I am bloody well sick of it. Howard Stark may have been a terrible father, but gee, what kind of mother was Maria? I don't know, because the narrative doesn't think it's important enough to tell me! Did Frigga ever show preference for one son over the other? Who knows? Thor and Loki only care about Odin's approval, because he's the one with actual power in this household, clearly! (God, Asgard, why you gotta be so awful.) Henry Plantagenet! Is his mother around? She's dead, right? We think so, because she sure as heck never even gets mentioned! Nate Ford had a mother, right? I think there was a line about her somewhere. But she obviously didn't have the chance to affect the formation of his character-- nope, that was 100% down to his dad. Luke's aunt and uncle must have known his mother, surely? Did anyone ever worry about or take reassurance in the presence of her genetics in Luke's blood? Did Luke ever ask to know what had happened to her? Eh, whatever, who cares!

Also, you ever notice how when a child in fiction is raised by a single mother, they spend their whole lives searching for a Strong Man to act as their father figure, but when they're raised by a single father, the only time you see them looking for a maternal figure is when they're young children trying to set their dad up with a nice lady because they want him to be happy, and the fact that she'd become a mother to them is weirdly secondary to that? Because moms are just that unimportant?

I don't even know why this bothers me so much, of all the things that could bother me, and I adored the latest Leverage episode (so many Eliot/Parker/Hardison feeeeeeels), but all that stuff about fathers and sons and just-- ugh. I'm so done with that. SO DONE. No more patience for the males in a family being the only ones who matter.

Now excuse me, I have to go give all of my money to Brave.

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What the hell, brain? It's not even the pairing that is weirding me out here, it's the fact that I just wrote 1000 words of Nu!Kirk/Spock Prime in a Star Wars fic.

*throws up hands* Anyone wanna let me know how that happened?



Apr. 23rd, 2010 11:06 pm
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People tend not to believe me when I say this, but I've met the Pied Piper. On three separate occasions during my childhood I have heard his music and followed it, along with the other children present, to the source- a tall man dressed in full Scottish regalia, playing the bagpipes, not looking behind to see whether we still followed as he walked along. Follow we did, myself and the others, strangers all but all entranced and following without question. I remember this very clearly. Each time the spell would be broken only when he stopped playing, at which point we would stop following and disperse, confused, while he disappeared. How someone like that just disappears into a crowd I've no idea, and yes, I know how weird this sounds, but I will swear on anything you care to name that it was neither a lie nor a dream: it happened. As a child I was always annoyed by depictions of the Pied Piper of Hamelin playing some variation on a flute, and attempted in vain to convince people that this was inaccurate; he played the bagpipes.

Corigliano's Pied Piper suite is not as awful as I thought it at first, as usually happens when I play something modern, but I still don't love it and I don't think I will. Still, it's an entertaining performance and if you come to the Wharton tomorrow night at eight I think you'll enjoy it.

Today at dress rehearsal Jacob the cellist and two tiny flautist girls and I sat around and challenged each other to tongue twisters. I am very good at them, ha, because I've been practicing toy boat ever since elementary school music class. Also they brought us pizzas, which was fantastic, and I stole the leftovers of one with pepperoni and mushrooms, and it was tasty and so I am not hungry. I am hoping to stick around tonight and practice and then run, and then tomorrow I can work for Eema in the morning and then go home and sleep, because- yay!- there is no morning dress tomorrow, so I can just sleep in until call at 7:30ish. Well, I am supposed to work on the Ktuba tonight, so uh. We will see how that goes, because damn, it would just be so much simpler to just let it be the one about how many zuzim a year Paul has to pay me if we get divorced, but. Y'know. (do you want change in dollars? No, in lirot. Uh, we don't use those anymore... how old are you, anyway?)

Invitations have been mostly sent out, and the first wave should have arrived yesterday. Paul is still tracking down addresses for two of his friends, and I need to call Kelly Pond and get her address, and I think I might still not have Tavan's. Tavan is hard to track down- despite being the only one who can call him, I don't even have his number. So, if you haven't received yours yet, look for it soon.

Last night was my last concert ever with the Philharmonic, and the last time I'll have Raphael Jimenez for a conductor. I- I'm not really sure what to do. It hasn't quite hit me yet, I don't think, and somehow I need to do something, find a gift or something, because- damn. That was a level of awesome I do not think I will ever find again ever. I don't really want to talk about it, though, not yet.

Rode a taxi today. The driver and I discussed the theme songs for various geeky sci-fi shows, prompted by the fact that his cell phone went off and played a slightly more obscure few measures of the Star Wars theme. It happied me.

Israeli guy stopped into the office today. He and my mom spoke Hebrew for a while, and he told us Shabbat Shalom when he left. I will light candles tonight, if I remember/get home early enough.

Caitlin's Mom expressed a wish to send me to Caitlin's Mom Boot Camp for six months, and get me and my issues sorted out. It really upset me quite deeply, but I'm still not sure why.

I... am not sure how I can leave. I mean, I will, and it'll just not really register that it's not temporary for a while, and by the time it does I'll be accustomed to my new situation and have a hard time conceiving of being anywhere else. Which on the one hand, seems like a pretty good way to go about it- just ease into it, like- but on the other hand, doesn't seem right. I'm leaving the only home I've ever known for twenty-two years, permanently, for the first time. And it seems like that should have more gravity. But on the other hand, I know that whatever living-in-the-present my brain brings to the table, it's still going to hurt like hell and be scary as fuck and whatever else. I know you've all done this already, and as usual I'm just a few years behind, but still. This is a big deal.

Anyway. Off to... be productive.

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my attraction to Owen is simply because I am tired of getting my heart broken by good men. WILL LAURENCE, I AM LOOKING AT YOU. (and Pellaeon, don't think you can sneak away, either.) Owen can take care of himself and will not sacrifice his happiness for an ungrateful country. Or empire. Or, you know, britain.

In other news, I am terribly terribly sick and yet I've still been going to my eight-hour-a-day rehearsals all week, and three concerts, and no sleep, and not enough food and I'm going to die, HELL WEEK, WHY AREN'T YOU OVER. Well, technically you are, but now I'm still sick and I get to go back to my normal schedule of never actually having a day off. my "weekends" involve four-hour rehearsals, two-hour rehearsals and lessons. I do not catch a break. Gregorian, be grateful. Well, you know, or just don't kill me, I would totally be happy with that.

Also, re: growing up. I appear to be doing it, bit by bit.

Am too sick to write journal entries, go away shibis.
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Pulling all-nighters, for me, is easier than not. The problem is pulling all-dayers. I spent the first half of symphony desperately trying to stay awake, and failing, which is panicky because I will startle awake in the middle of Marsalis' crazy original jazz composition that doesn't really take a violin's capabilities into account and realize that I nearly dropped my violin. !.

Read the webcomic Girl Genius, and do heartily recommend it to anyone. The beginning is a little hard to get past, but indeed worth it, and I genuinely like pretty much every single character, even the ones I was sure I wouldn't. I also laughed hysterically, a lot. It is a world run by mad scientists, or "sparks," and full of robots- "clanks." Also! Also! JAGERKIN, or Jagermonsters, or just Jager, and they are LOVE. They have hats, and Eastern European accents.

And started watching Dr. Who. Per Eyal's advice, I began with the 9th Doctor, and am enjoying it- and liking him- more than I expected to. I had only ever met the Doctor through Jack's reactions to him, which means I saw all the desperate loyalty, pining love, and bitter abandonment without ever seeing what had been done to deserve that level of devotion.

The next episode will have Jack in it, yey, but up 'til now it's all been Doctor/Rose. And I've heard a lot- a *lot*- of discussion and strong opinions as to what, exactly, the relationship between those two is. (Also a lot of very different opinions of Rose, that often seem to depend on how much they like Martha.) The two of them, it seems to me, practically fall in love at first sight, and it doesn't take very long for an extremely strong bond to be forged between the pair of them. They do seem to compliment each other quite nicely, I must say, and people argue and argue over whether it's platonic or not. Me personally, I sometimes find that sort of thing rather hard to compass, because I don't really *do* platonic/not platonic with people. If I love someone then I love them completely, and some level of attraction is going to be mixed up in that too. It might not be an important aspect of the relationship at all, but it's going to be there. So it's a little hard for me to imagine any sort of friendship where the parties involved have absolutely *no* attraction to each other, because for me, affection may not follow attraction but some attraction, at least, will always follow affection. that I've creeped you all out... I like the Doctor. I like how he cheers up at trouble, I like Rose, and I *hearted* the Dalek. I like Mickey, too, because he isn't macho and he's clingy and he pines away for Rose when she is gone, and also, he is just cute. I was terribly worried about him when he got eated by the rubbish bin. The show knows how to push the creepy buttons- the opening scene with the store mannekins? AWESOME. So perfect. Department store mannekins are creepy creepy things and they were utilized well. The zombies, too, in the Dickens episode were great looking. Zombies need to find the right balance of looking human and *other* to be scary, because if they're too lurchy and shambly and decomposing then they just look funny, and you have to give them enough weirdness to not just be humans gone braindead/brainhungry. Also, wtf, GWEN. And Simon Carrow, or whatever his name is (ETA: Simon Callow), I am convinced I must know him from something other than a very minor role in Shakespeare in Love which is the only movie I recognized in his profile on imdb because he looked so, so familiar, and I've only seen Shakespeare in Love once and was not too terribly impressed by anyone but Judi Dench, Geoffrey Rush and tiny!Ben Afflek. Because Shakespeare totally plagiarized all of R&J, so there. But TOSH, TOSH IS THERE, HOORAY TOSH, TOSH IS TOSH, PRITTY TOSH IS PRITTY. Tosh is post-morteming an alienified pig. Gwen- or, I should say, Eve Myles, did not annoy me in the slightest as Gwyneth. So it's not the actress I have issues with, apparently, but the character. (& her idiocy. but I digress.) I've heard a theory, and it seems to be accepted to a fairly wide degree, that Jack seems to want to make Gwen be for him what Rose was to the Doctor, was sort of looking for- Jack's taken a lot of hits, and he's lost so much of himself, and he's somehow settled upon the idea that someone like Rose will just come along and fix him, and then when Gwen comes along and wants to fix EVERYONE EVER, Jack just goes "hooray, you finally showed up!" and proceeds to try and shove her into that role, which makes much more sense than that he is interested in her romantically (though she probably wants him). Since I kept hearing Rose compared to Gwen, I was rather disinclined to like Rose too, so I suppose that either Dr Who is simply good enough to make me overcome my prejudices, or I'm better at keeping an open mind than I give myself credit for. When I have watched a bit farther I will be able to tell which it is. I believe I would be happy with the idea of Rose/Doctor being in love romantically. There are some friendships, such as McKay and Sheppard, Holmes and Watson, Neelix and Kes, Frodo and Sam, or Sirius and Remus(don't kill me), that I just really don't like to see shipped, there are some, like Janeway and Tuvok, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, Karrde and Mara, Laurence and Roland, Crowley and Aziraphale, or Eliot and Olivia, that I can enjoy the shipping but will also equally enjoy their friendship and/or working relationship, and others- House/Wilson, Sano/Megumi, Bashir/O'Brian, Wolverine/Rogue, Doumeki/Watanuki, Kirk/Spock, Odo/Lwaxana, Parrish/Lorne, Jack/Ianto come to mind- that are IN LOVE, that BELONG TOGETHER, UNDENIABLY, WITH CAPS LOCK, AND I WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU IF YOU SAY OTHERWISE, LA LA LA LA. Right now Rose and the Doctor are falling into the second category, which may change as I go on.

It is late, and I am hungry. l8rz, must work, go home, make food.

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thanku fo be my frind.

Fandom meme!

There are thirteen questions behind the cut. You have to pick ten characters from any fandom before looking at the questions and then answer them.

Um, I didn't actually mean to pick all men. Just happened that way. Guess I'm feeling particularly gay tonight, or something.

1 Mal Reynolds
2 Temeraire
3 Bill Weasley
4 Doumeki Shizuka
5 Scott Summers
6 Will Turner
7 Harry Kim
8 Lee Adama
9 Gilad Pellaeon
10 Geoffrey Tennant

Don't click until you've written down your characters. )

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Yeah you heard me.

Fiddle tunes are fun, Lalo is going to be my death, and no wonder Daniel doesn't write to me, my letters to him are the most boring pieces of crap ever written. I wouldn't reply to them either.

I've been up since... many moons ago. I'm tired. I will not go to sleep though. Man, this is a hard weekend. Long days in a row.

Eema and I looked at a few apartments today. Saw some okay ones, also one belonging to a boy with a snake. A ball python. I wanted to get that apartment but it did not come with the snake (or the boy).

Dame Judi Dench is honestly one of my favorite actresses of All Time. and I was amused by the fact that my DVD gave out just as there were naked Scotsmen on my screen, probably because too many fangirls who love accents have paused it right there. Mrs. Brown was a good movie, if a rather differently-paced one, and tragical, as all movies about actual history are. But there is Judi Dench, and Scotsmen who occasionally get naked. (umwhut? am totally glad my mother didn't stay up to watch it with me btw. we can talk about anything but still. that's going a bit far.)

I have posted first chapters of fics on the internet, which is an implied promise to post second/third chapters at a later date, and I greatly fear that this will Never Happen. I should know better by now. (And how's that Eomer fic coming, SilentStep dear?)

Paul's Eema gave me a hundred dollar check for taking care of their cats, and so I finally decided to use it and take Paul out for a night on the town (and get him drunk, and then get him laid, because Chris won't) but I couldn't find it. True, my search was not the most thorough in the history of Searching My House, but still, that's rather worrisome. It's not like I can ask for a new one. She might ask what I will use it for, and "to get your daughter son drunk and laid" is probably not a very good answer, no matter how much her reaction would amuse my Eema.

Jeez. I think I may need to put one of those stupid livejournal locks that make you verify you are fourteen, or eighteen, or whatever, on my journal. It seems the trendy thing to do. Why minors are reading my journal, I am sure I don't know.

Eema is not interested in watching Due South, although she expressed a wish to watch more Voyager (as she put it, the show with the kushi, and Paris). I find this shocking but pretty darn cool.

David Weber is *heart,* because I think he just wrote canon slash. Whoo. Merlin/Caleb forever!

On the other hand, he appears to have caught that bug that seems to be slowly taking over all of my sci-fi/fantasy authors.

Dear David Weber,
Replacing almost every vowel in a name with a Y does not render that name unrecognizable. Just a hint.
Timothy Zahn.

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"Fleet Admiral Firmus Piett is a fictional character from the Star Wars universe, played by Kenneth Colley in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. He was one of the few Imperial officers to appear in two Star Wars films, the only one to have been played by the same actor twice."

Firmus, BTW. Not Hiram. I think Firmus may possibly be even worse than Hiram. Poor man.

Anyway, Pavel's on his way to the conference, here's hoping that goes well, and I want desperately to go home and play my repaired violin. He picked it up and goes "your soundpost is fine, but your bridge is out of alignment, your strings are shot and you've got two open seams." And so I had to leave it overnight. Gregory went and got it today, and my mother tried to tell him to just take it without a case.


Okay, my mother should know better.

But Psarianos loaned him a case and now I just need to get home so that I may play it. Or at least pack it away in my own case so that I may bring it to MSU and play it.

Aha. From Wookieepedia:

In 2002, Piett was given the first name "Firmus" in Daniel Wallace's The New Essential Guide to Characters. Wallace derived the name from the Latin word meaning "strong" or "reliable."

So it's your fault, then.

Gah headache.


For Pavel

May. 12th, 2008 08:44 pm
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&anyone else who may favor the Imperials, because Piett! &Vader! Being all pre-battle-rice-y, in their own little way.

Because it should be recc'd again: FordxMarineBiologist4eva. Because sardinas, and a tiger cub that is a shark on the inside.

And this is one damn powerful piece about literature, and its power, and Hugh going back to the Borg, except that it is BSG prequel fic, about a Six. Not Baltar's Six, a random Six that we probably never meet in canon, which is too bad, because this Six!

And also, I'd never even heard of Torchwood, except that there is apparently a tea boy named Ianto who may or may not have something going on with some sort of cowboy named Jack. But you don't need to know anything at all about Torchwood, or TURCHWAD, as I will now forever think of it whenever it is mentioned because this fic is win. It also may or may not be the authoress with a dearth of brilliant Discworld!fic; I'm not remembering right now but it doesn't matter because FOR GRATE LOLZ:

And then there is this. This is by Soujin, whom you may have heard of because she has a well-deserved fanclub, and I definitely thought that I was the only one in the entire Shakespearean fandom who had ever conceived of Fortinbras/Horatio. (Mostly because they're the only ones alive at the end.) For anyone who has ever had to work through a fever, and struggle to keep your mind and body functioning when you really should be in bed, this is so exactly what it is like, only worse and painful but full of strange and terrible beauty, also FORTINBRAS IS A SEXY THING.

And I said to her, "I can has sequel?" And because she's just the most awesome thing ever, yes, there is sequel. And again it hurts like the very devil but it's just so pretty, and look! I totally thought I was the only one in the entire Shakespearean fandom who liked Osric, and thought that he deserved better treatment at the hands of his sovereign. And Fortinbras continues to be a sexy thing zOMG.

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Dear Timothy Zahn,
A word to the wise: changing the spelling of a name does not, in fact, render that name unrecognizable.
George R. R. Martin.
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Recommended: Rozarka's fic Winterwhere.

Also sprach Zarathustra recommended: PINI DE ROMA by OTTORINO RESPHIGI


I am so very grateful to Edison's phonograph and all the wonderful advances in recording technology since.

(I think I want to see Fantasia 2000 in IMAX again, now that I am older and can appreciate it.

...lie. I appreciated it Just Fine back then, I just want to appreciate it again, and differently because I am different now.)

-pportunity ditdam/

In any case. Now that I am more dignified. (yeah right)


I don't know. Nothing's happened lately, besides being sick and concert-panicky. Oh, I know. In the airport in Connecticut I stopped at Einstein Bros. Bagels for a bagel and shmear (haha! SHMEAR!) and a cup of hot peppermint tea, and it was in a bookstore, and I wandered around looking at all the popular boring stuff and then it was like- Timothy Zahn! Why hello there! And so I bought a copy of Survivor's Quest to reread on the way home, because it's the only book of his that neither Paul nor I own.

And it was good. I caught many little things like Formbi going "Now, how would I know Car'das? I've never been out of my own system" and things like that, and it made me very happy. (I also never noticed the slashy possibilities before, either. Ehehe.) And Chak =/= Jack, either, Mr. Zahn, just like Jorj =/= George. We understand.

So I have a concert this Thursday, and I'm first chair and I have a billion solos and I am so torn between ordering you all to come see me because my parents won't, and forbidding anyone to hear a hint of it because I'm going to be terrible. (How I wish I were better.)

In three weeks I'm performing Dvorak's Romance in F Minor. Um what? Hasn't anyone realized that I don't even know it? Or that I should never attempt slow, pretty pieces because my control is nonexistant and my artistry is worse? *sighs*

I have downloaded Ginastera's Ballet Estancia, or at least the four dances that we are playing. There is one called Los Peones de Hacienda, and when Jimenez was explaining the titles to us he said that this meant something like The Ranch-Workers, or, The Cowboys, and that therefore this was a very manly movement, and should be played as such. It made me laugh.

I liked sitting next to Jonars. I really like Jonars. Or Hillary, sitting next to her was nice because she liked orchestra too, and thought it was cool that I did too. Laura at least feels like a friendly presence, even if she and I don't really have much in common either. I've never had the opportunity, to the best of my memory, of sitting with Corinna or Kelly. Sitting with Evan was so very strange. Senses of humor, again, have no overlap, and he never seems to smile, not genuinely, not really. (That's something I really like about Corinna. She is always so genuine. She seems so solid, so real. I've never met anyone that real. If she were an animal she would be a horse. Horses are extremely real as well.)

(So, here's to not getting around to finishing entries. Backdates to when it was written.)

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Skipped orchestra to-day, which was extremely painful. I AM REALLY SORRY PROFESSOR DOCTOR MAESTRO JIMENEZ-SAMA.

Goal: attend Japanese tomorrow, for the first time in two weeks, and ace the lesson 6 quiz.
Problem: do not even know lesson 5.

So I just spent the past four straight hours slightly high on stimulants, studying lesson 5 vocabulary.

Have learned: nouns and i-adjectives (somewhere between thirty and forty words).
To do still: um, everything in the known universe.











I think I should share some of my mnemonics with you. You may find them amusing. But mostly it will just help me to remember.

samui - cold Cold like a harbor seal. Samui kind of sounds like sanguine, and there's some similar word for a stage covered in blood. I coldly survey the bloody stage. Also, poor samurai sleeping out in the cold.
tsumaranai - boring Tsuuu! Is the sound of someone shooting a ray gun at Mara Jade, who is nai, which means, not even there. "what a boring fight," thinks Mara. "what a lame opponent."
tanoshii - fun I am fairly sure that "tanoshii" is sung in ARASHI's "We can make it." Now there's a fun video. Age of sail jackets. And rainbows. (Oh ARASHI.) Also it kind of sounds like tam o' shanter, and those are fun to wear, and my Maid o' Glen Shea, who was probably pretty tan, since I think she was a shepherdess or something.
furui - old I had a hard time finding a good mnemonic for this one. Furui kind of sounds like "fury," which according to Darwin's Stupidhead Self-Proclaimed Successor was one of the oldest emotions. Furies are women from Greek Myths, which are old. Fuu, Rui, why are you still carrying around that old thing? Blowing (fuuuu) through a loop (the little curl in the tail of the letter ru) and EEE, (i) look! Bubbles come out! And bubble wands are among the oldest toys. Kids have been playing with those for millenia.
muzukashii - difficult A cow (moo/mu) in the zoo (zu) eating straw (kash) has a difficult life. Muzu kind of sounds like muzzy, and if your head is all muzzy like mine is right now you are going to have a very difficult (kashe) time. Muu, ze kashe!
yasashii - easy (problem), kind (person) This was the second-to-last one I learned and my brain was gone. I wrote down "yasashii... no problem. Ya, sashi. Sasha is kind, yasa_shi. Yeah, so, she. Yasashii is easy, or easygoing. Yas, a shi, a kind girl." But really all that it brings to mind is yams. And yams are soft. Which kind of mean the same thing.
omoshiroi - interesting I'm transcribing what I wrote down for this one, which kind of tells you what my brain is like during this. "oh, mosht interesting, oy. Omosh-iroi = almost ioroi, who is interesting. O, mosh he Roy... uh. O, mo! She roiled.
yasui - cheap, inexpensive Cold vegetables are cheap, and yasui is really yasai (vegetables) + samui (cold), even though samui is only for weather. Ya, sue he, because I am miserly. Yasui = asui, which means made, but we're pretending that it means homemade, which would make it cheap.
isogashii - busy (person/days) Isogashii = I so busy gashii! He so gashi busy? Isolated gashy... well you're going to be busy if there are gashes involved, even if they're isolated ones. Or insulated isogashii. Gosh, I/he so busy, gosh, he's busy...
atsui - hot This one I know from every single anime where someone burns themself. Because someone always does.
chiisai - small This one I know from a Kenshin fic in which Saito nicknamed Tokio "chiisai" because she was short. It was a terrible terrible fic. The characterization didn't make sense, and the modernization made it worse.
atarashii - new Atarashii sounds a little like ARASHI, my liking for whom is new, even though I am not fifteen. It also sounds like atama-rashi which means Rashi-head. Talmudic Scholar-Head! ...Well that's gotta be a new one.
ookii - large OOKII. Like OBTUSE. Oh... ki... Ohhh! Kiii! Magnesium! Which is pretty big. Actually it's only about 24.31 g/mol, but we can pretend.
kowai - scary This was one of my first Japanese words. Because John mean to call me scary, and he called me cute instead, and I laughed at him. We were standing by the pool table in Mike's basement at the Quiz Bowl Party. That was the day we watched Life of Brian, but John went home before that.

kitte - postage stamp Kitte = kitten. There is a scene in Socks by Judy Blume in which, to stop a family with evil small children from adopting Socks, the boy shoves him in a mailbox. The girl freaks out, and then the mailman comes, and she begs him not to take the kitten, and the postman is like "don't worry, he doesn't have a stamp."
kippu - ticket Kippu = kip. To kip, to bed down. "This field-bed is too cold for me to sleep." Buy a ticket for the subway or the ship so that you may go home to your truckle-bed.
umi - sea Picked this up from anime somewhere along the way.
saafin - surfing I'd so better not need a mnemonic for this one.
shukudai - homework Picked up from the fact that we use it in class all the time.
tabemono - food Ed in Cowboy Bebop (episode: Mushroom Samba) singing "Tabemono, tabemono, arimasu ka? Aa desu ka? Arimasu ka?"
tanjoubi - birthday Picked up from anime.
tesuto - test Is even worse than surfing.
tenki - weather Ten = heaven, ki = spirit, so this is obviously the state of the sky.
nomimono - drink Nomi from the verb "to drink," which I used on TLAPD: "Iie, sake o nomimasen. Rum o nomimasu!" And mono from tabemono. Because taberu = to eat.
hagaki - postcard Here is a postcard. On the front is a picture of Macbeth confronting the three witches. One of them is saying "kiiii!" at Macbeth, who is not really sure what to do about it. "Hagaki!" Shrieks the witch. Her sisters fall about laughing.
basu - bus Um, yes.
heya - room Picked up from Hana Yori Dango. Main Character wanders around going "which room is hers?"
boku - I Picked up from anime and from Calger, who has a website with The 100 Most Useful Phrases For Watching Anime, and spends a paragraph explaining the more common first-person pronouns.
yasumi - holiday/day off/absence Oyasumi nasai = goodnight, so it probably has to do with resting. The O is probably to make it something like "honorable goodnight."
hikouki - airplane Hiko Seijuro's ki, flying around in a private jet because he's just that cool. Also, hi KOU ki! Is a birdcall. Possibly for a messenger pigeon. because they are equivalent to airplanes. Duh.
ryokou - travel A ryo is a unit of money, right? How far will one ryo get you? (Probably not very far.) Kou is, once again, a birdcall. So if a ryo is a unit of money, let us say that 1 ryo = 1 guilder. And Rosencrantz makes birdcalls. So! We have now Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Who were sent for. That's why they're here. (Looks around doubtfully) Travelling.

Yes, I know that Guildenstern has nothing to do with guilders. It actually means 'golden star.'
(And Rosencrantz is a wreath or crown of roses.)

And now off to study again... sdfankdgnngngn;ioj Leora dies. Eheu.

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Uh huh no eating here tonight you on a diet.

Hi everyone and welcome to Leora's three-in-the-morning theatre! We get the usual mixture of melancholy and mirth. I will also never get over my giant fangirl crush on alliteration. If you ever want me to go into a catatonic fangirl squee-state, eru knows why you would, find a way for Sherlock Holmes to get alliterative. You'll likely never see me again. I will curl up in my Happy Place and die.

Have been reading The Complete Sherlock Holmes, starting with A Study in Scarlet, of course, and interspersing it with Star Wars: X-wings: Wraith Squadron, because those two go remarkably well together. It's like crack.

Speaking of: Everyone read anything by mistful. I've been laughing hysterically and silently.

I really should have gone to sleep hours ago, because

Shit. Oh, Eru, I only now just realized that I forgot to call Paul back. Everyone can berate me now, and do that little seagull "CALL! PAUL!" thing that you all do so well, because I totally deserve it.

Okay. Have just written him a letter, in extremely sparkly blue ink. Tomorrow I will hunt for envelopes that don't say Okemos Travel on them. Does not make up for it, but I don't think I can call him at... oh, it's four in the morning now. How nice.

That's why my vision's gone all painful.

I need sleep. Tomorrow I'm going to Ann Arbor. So goodnight, I love you all.

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...I think I may have a slight umbrella fetish. O.o

I'm also becoming a shameless slasher, oh it's true, but Doumeki/Watanuki is actually canon so it's okay, or so I keep telling myself. If you like xxxholic than follow this link because CELL PHONES. It made me laugh. A lot.

I also read The Fairy Godmother by Mercedes Lackey. I must admit, I was somewhat disappointed. She's supposed to be such a good author, so I guess this is just one of her worse books. I also don't think her editor was paying very close attention, as there were several instances of weird redundancy and repetition.

Also the boys must NEVER find out (shhh!) how much Star Trek I have been watching. I feel as though I am failing in my Prime Directive, and then I die and go "I shouldn't even know what the heck a Prime Directive IS" but then I go, "man, what a pathetic prime directive." I feel as though I am getting some of my own back, however, by treating the entire canon with immense irreverence, and I really must post my updated DS9 loveweb because it is such a thing of beauty.

Garak has such a sweet if seldom seen smile, for all that I enjoy his innocent face. I didn't want to like Garak because I was looking for BOB slash and all I could find was Bashir/Garak. I still say Bashir/O'Brian is my otp, but Julian wants Garak so bad hahahaha. I choose to believe that Odo eventually married Luxana and is Deanna Troi's dead father, because the scene where Luxana falls asleep in Odo's lap and he transformes his lap into a pillow and his hand on her shoulder into a blanket is unbearably cute. (BTW- Chris, I see you reaching for the reply button. I see you. Yes, I do, nevermind how. STOP IT. You too Paul, though I think you know better than Chris does that you should never disillusion the Leora. I mean it, Chris, don't tell me. Just don't. I will keep my fantasies.) Also I don't think he should love Major Kira. I don't see why anyone loves Major Kira, let alone EVERYONE, but for some reason they all do. Also she is HAVING O'BRIAN AND KEIKO'S BABY WTF.

Luxana: Odo, don't end up pregnant and on the run.
Odo: Um, I'll try.

Garak: So, you have a thing for bajorans, right?
Odo: No, not really, I- AUGH! *barely manages to catch the blond bajoran shibi that Garak abruptly throws at him*
Blond Bajoran Shibi: Hey, baby, hey, baby, you so fine, baby!
Odo: oro!
Blond Bajoran Shibi: Come up and see me sometime, sugar. *shimmies out*
Garak: Dude! Why'd you let her get away?
Odo: And you wonder why I hate you so.
Garak: *innocent face*

I feel so terrible about my need to write Bashir/O'Brian fic. I should have more sense than that. But, DUDE.

Quark is supposed to be funny but he's just annoying. I liked the scene where Garak "killed" him. That was lovely. So nice to see Garak in killing action, and so nice to see Quark killed. I mean... uh. I just like Garak, more than I should, because... "I was a gardener."

I have been writing O'Brian-in-make-believe-prison-with-Ijar-with-overtones-of-Bashir/O'Brian-slash almost involuntarily in my head, because poor O'Brian! And augh!

Why do I talk about Star Trek? I didn't want to. I suppose it's because I have no one with whom I can talk about it in person. I can squee over the beautiful love that is Doumeki/Watanuki with Jessica- Doumeki breaks my heart, by the way- not as much as Pellaeon, of course, but still he does. Watanuki, tell him you love him back already.

Saw all of Yami no Matsue. DEMON VIOLIN, that is all I have to say. Well no it's not, but I tried. Oriya/Muraki forever, and I like Muraki more than I should, and I'd like to blame that on Jessica. Certainly she influenced it, but in my secret heart I know I love teh Evil. That and the good characters are too angsty for me. It's like, don't struggle with your demonic nature. Enjoy it. Look at Muraki. He knows he's evil, and yet he enjoys life. Eh. YnM did not catch my interest so much. I just like that there was DEVIL VIOLIN THAT WOULD SUCK OUT YOUR SOUL but first it would make you play really, really well.

Been sekritly reading a trashy sci-fi novel called In Fury Born, which pretty much tells you all I never wanted you to know about my reading material.

Got sidetracked in the library today by X-Men: Golgotha, but that's totally NOT MY FAULT. If Milligan is going to draw a cover with Logan and Rogue kissing passionately on it, then I am going to get distracted and there's nothing you or anyone else can do about it. If I ever see that book in a bookstore I'm buying it, then I'm posting comic scans on because. Yeah. Rogan. *buries face in her hands* It's Sess/Rin and Aoshi/Misao and Logan/Rogue and I'm a terrible person.

Speaking of the illustrious Sesshoumaru, so far Doumeki has made at least two Sess-faces. 'S great.

I like how Doumeki instantly became so much sexier as soon as Jessica and I realized that he was left-handed. Left-handed men are so hot!

Of course, the moment that *I* fell in love with him was when he turned to Watanuki and said simply in his deep, deadpan voice, "Ahou." Rrowr.

There is a cellist in my orchestra who always puts me in mind of a Shakespearean fairy. She is what Mendelssohn's A Midsummer Night's Dream describes. Before orchestra one day she was lying on the sofa in the music building, on her back, feet together, hands folded serenely below her breast, peasant skirt flowing over the side of the cushion, lacy blouse looking all ethereal, hair flowing like the skirt, lips painted bright red, you get the gorram picture. She looked exactly like a dead girl from a fairy tale, and literally the entire string section was sitting around trying to decide which one. I voted for the Lady of Shalott.

Our first chair cellist, however, is a shvitzer. He is full of himself and I do not like him. Grr. Shibi.

I want to carve pumpkins this weekend, but nobody wants to carve them with me. Maybe Tamari will. I also want to see the fall play at OHS, and I have a feeling I'll end up going alone. Oh well. So it goes.
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I dreamt that I was Hermione. And then I fell in love with Draco Malfoy. *shudders*

The rest of the dream was better. We were fighting ringwraiths with The Book of Three and it turned out that one of them was nice. It was cool. And I was watching a bunch of stags carrying billboards up and down alongside the highway, and I was a lion and Lynn said that I was mishtolelet, which is like... "romping around all crazy-like." And there were Jamaicans cleaning my house while I was wearing a helmet and someone with a Star Wars voice was talking about what a cool helmet it was. Then there was soap all over the front porch, so me and Eema and the Jamaican guys were all skidding around on in and singing "Zombie Jamboree." Malfoy was being all haughty and wouldn't join in. He was sitting on my swings, the ones that aren't there anymore. He also challenged Harry to a race of Malfoy riding Buckbeak vs. Harry on his broom. And talked about integrals and sets. And I think Phoebus from Hunchback of Notre Dame was there too... he may have given me the helmet. And there was lots of Tolkien. There was also a hairdresser who was quoting the bible. Wrongly, but it seemed right in the dream. Something about Elijah.

I have to go and practice, because I have orchestra today at 5:00. I don't really want to go. I want to have the house to myself again, so I can wear absurd costumes and talk to myself and sing and dance and play music real loud, stay up to all hours of the night and bake bread and clean up only when I feel like it. Sigh.

Erella and Amnon are here to visit. Last night we went out to Outback Steakhouse. I'd never been there before. It was pretty good- I liked the bread, it was brown and sweet and still hot, and the "bloomin' onion" was better than I expected. I had cream of broccoli soup (not bad at all) and Amnon's batata (sweet potato) which was achla (really good or cool or whatever). Erella brought us handmade scarves which are diaphanous and lovely, greens and blues and purples in this pretty ripply effect. I like them a lot. They also brought a CD of Israeli melodies arranged for flute and orchestra.

I was also inspired to write Little Mermaid fanfic.


This is the part where I look at myself and go, "I don't know you."

It's pretty much stopped raining, as far as I can tell. Maybe I'll bike to MSU. That'd be kind of fun. By kind of fun I mean not, but I do need the excercise, so... self-propelled speeder bikes it is. Or something. Eru, I'm pretty tired. My left eye has been hurting lately. Also my teeth, kind of.

I am extremely bitter at Meijers for rearranging everything. It seems to always be that way, doesn't it? As soon as I figure out the arrangement of something, and how everything in it works, it gets entirely changed. Annoys me to no end. I think Eema's here to make me go to MSU and practice. I really don't want to. I just want to stay in and be lazy. Rrrgh.



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