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to write my thoughts about sexism and racism in Doctor Who. Because I really love that show, but sometimes the implications make me a bit uneasy.

Dear BBC: See Firefly. See Battlestar Galactica. That is how it's done. I was about to give Who points for the Mickey/Jake, or at least the Ricky/Jake, but then I remembered that that's not actually any more explicitly canon than Geta's crush on Baltar. (Oh Geta. You and your TIGER TATTOO.)

But- Doctor Who. I love you. And then I think about you. And then I worry.

Well, also I worry about the fact that I really love the Daleks. But I think that's fairly common. It's the voice! I love listening to them talk! I laughed my head off when they were arguing with the Cybermen.

Also, during the Christmas Special? The Runaway Bride? You know that big dramatic disturbing moment? I couldn't stop laughing. I felt a bit bad about it, but still.

Eh. It wasn't really a good episode. They were trying to be epic without spending enough time on the set-up, maybe; I'm not sure exactly what was wrong, but it just missed.


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Random Shoes is really just Torchwood's attempt at Doctor Who's Love and Monsters. Which still wasn't amazing, but was at least better than Random Shoes, and at times reminded me very, VERY strongly of Dr. Horrible. Also, ISOBEL MET AN ENORMOUS BEAR ABSORBOLOFF. ISOBEL, ISOBEL DIDN'T CARE, because she now has a perfectly happy and fulfilling life trapped as a face in a pavement slab.

(The sad thing is she's still getting better treatment than at Macbeth's hands. Dammit, Macbeth, I deny season two. I deny it a lot. Because the man is not a fool! He would realize- ahhhh, whatever.)


Torchwood deals with the Goblin King! Srsly, just imagine Jack flirting with Jareth. Augh.

Kaywinnit Lee Frye shows up and fixes the Rift Manipulator without thinking! Also the entire Torchwood team falls for her, hard.

Ianto goes on vacation/travelling with the Doctor or something, but because Ianto is Responsible, he makes sure there is someone to take care of his job before gallivanting off. He puts in a call to a friend of the Doctor's in Japan, and hires an employee of hers, under the condition that Doumeki comes too because Yuuko-san is a 104 shipper liek whoa they just come as a matched pair. Yuuko comes along with Watanuki and Doumeki, just to check the place out, say hello and drink all that hypervodka that fell through the rift last Tuesday. Watanuki as Torchwood's teaboy! NOW IMAGINE JACK FLIRTING WITH YUUKO.

...there were more but I'm going to bed now.

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Saw Enchanted. Knew it was fairly bad, but I figured: James Marsden, right? There is a lot I will put up with for James Marsden. Also Idina Menzel. And it wasn't as bad as I was expecting, actually, well, no, it was, but mostly I was just distracted the whole time by CYCLOPS WITH EYES, ALSO, A SWORD.

Just came back from my second concert in three days. went well, good pieces, if they all had to grow on me, that's okay. Bernstein has gone up in my estimation of him, again, and Ralph Votapek is amazing. A surprising (for me, anyway) number of the Symphony orchestra are married- they mostly don't wear rings, for ease of playing instruments, but you hear people refer to "my husband" or "my wife" casually when they talk. It's the first time I've really been among a group of people I almost consider peers that that's happened to me. (they're still nearly all older, and they are all much much better than me. Except my stand partner, and for all that I really like him- he's so nice, and friendly, he really is- he's got something against mutes. Which, I won't lie, bugs the heck out of me.

I'm at my house right now. Eema's setting things on fire lighting all of our halloween decorations. My parents are going to Mexico for halloween. I'm kind of doubtful that I'll be doing anything. In fact I'll likely be working. But I'll look into getting out of work on the seventh, and maybe orchestra too if I can wrangle it.

Goodbye Ravel's Alborada del Grazioso, goodbye De Falla's Nights in the Gardens of Spain, goodbye Bernstein's Age of Anxiety. (I had lots of anxiety about that title. What a pretentious title. There was even a movement titled "the seven stages," argh.)

Goodbye Bartok's Romanian Dances, goodbye Beethoven's Emperor Concerto, goodbye Copland's Rodeo.

GOODBYE CARLOS BOTERO. I think I may cry. No more Prince. I am really quite awfully saddened by this.

I'm not in the opera orchestra, which I expected, and am not too disappointed by, because EROICA. (Napoleonic symphonies for the win.)

Have been writing epically!

-Five Captains Ianto never served under (e.g. Janeway, Mal, Lawrence, Sharpe, WWI!Jack, etc.)
-Five Constables Torchwood didn't retcon (like Fraser! And of course PC Andy)
-immortal!Ianto fic, or at least in which he doesn't age, though he doesn't know if he can be killed. (I don't know either.)
-Five people who never loved the Defiant and one who did (I love the Defiant. Love, love that little ship. But I don't count.)
-Nine/Rose adventures

etc. etc. etc.

I realized yesterday that I almost never read Harry Potter fic. Oh, once in a while, if I see something recommended, or if I can easily find something Viktor/Hermione, and I read the ones in the femgen ficathon (Madam Rosmerta! Remus' great-grandmother was a gypsy!). But not very often.

Mleh. Just killing time until the pie is warmed up. Going now. Then home, to sleep.

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thanku fo be my frind.

Fandom meme!

There are thirteen questions behind the cut. You have to pick ten characters from any fandom before looking at the questions and then answer them.

Um, I didn't actually mean to pick all men. Just happened that way. Guess I'm feeling particularly gay tonight, or something.

1 Mal Reynolds
2 Temeraire
3 Bill Weasley
4 Doumeki Shizuka
5 Scott Summers
6 Will Turner
7 Harry Kim
8 Lee Adama
9 Gilad Pellaeon
10 Geoffrey Tennant

Don't click until you've written down your characters. )

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Eich ani echraich
Olech kmo iver ve lo nishbar

How I don't want to go to school tomorrow.

We're sitting here in the office and deleting spam as it comes in, until I finally got fed up and figured out how to create a specialized filter. The e-mail system is new and I'm unfamiliar with it. Actually everything that I learned in the last few months in the office is utterly useless now. I hate being stood on my head like that.

Anyway I haven't done any of my homework for tomorrow and I don't want to admit it, which means I'll have to do it sneakily, which is a lot harder than it sounds. And stupider. It sounds pretty stupid anyway.

I watched some Firefly this weekend. I'd forgotten how much I liked that show, which was the point of depriving myself of it for so long, because now it's awesome all over again. Big Damn Heroes, Sir. Ain't We Just. (Glad you're back now on this ship.) There is no one on that prettypretty ship that I do not like. It's great.

And I saw a short clip of Prokofiev's R&J the Ballet on Youtube, which is Love. Seriously, I wish I could see ballets. I wish I could see them everywhere. Always. I kind of really really mourn the fact that in today's society there is so little demand for live arts entertainment- for theatre, for dance, for opera, for music too. I mean it's there, but it's rare and you have to go out of your way to look for it. It's times like this that I really resent sports.

OHS is doing A Midsummer Night's Dream this year. I'm willing to bet that's Mr. Vickers' doing. I'm also willing to bet that it's been shortened, and that it's not going to be extremely well done, being a high school production and all... still, I'll go and I bet I'll enjoy it.

I love seeing stage productions. I saw Pygmalion the other day. Did I talk about it? I liked it. I like it better than My Fair Lady, because SHE MARRIES FREDDY AND HIGGINS IS LEFT ALL ALONE. Well. Not all alone. Higgins and Pickering continue to live in sin, and Eliza and Freddy go off to run their flower shop/diction school. So it's All Good.

It was cool. The scene with the party where Eliza's mistaken for a princess was great; I could have spent hours staring at all the shiny costumes. The costuming for the whole play was really cool. Also Freddie was awfully cute, and everyone's actors (with the exception of Eliza's father, who wasn't at all) were good and basically acted either as I pictured them or better. I liked Eliza. She was extremely human.

Anyway. Eeyore the bus driver is here. Eema's pointing out the evil!spam to him.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow... I don't, I don't. I suppose I'll feel better in the morning. *sighs* Right now, that knowledge doesn't help much.

You know what I could do with? Chocolate. Eema was not-subtly hinting to me that I need to lose weight, and sure, she's right, but I'd rather have chocolate. (Eeyore just said I look very sleepy, and that there are child labor laws. Eeyore thinks he is funnier than he is sometimes. He is nice but still EEYORE.)

"Dean made me a muffin... ... ...Why is she laughing?"

In any case. Also saw the first episode of yet another Japanese tv drama about high school, and I don't think I'm going to take the time to watch the rest, but it had Ryu's actor in it, being all delightfully slashable with his archenemy-who-quickly-becomes-his-best-friend, and who defies a bunch of construction workers because he has this OCD little ritual to touch a certain willow tree every morning before he can go to school. One morning he arrives and it's gone, and he runs around going "Ah! Willow! It's gone! Where is it?" *runs to harbor* "Hey! Hey fish! Where is it? Tell me!" *sees really spooky girl standing where the willow used to be* *falls over backwards* "Ah! It's the Willow Fairy! Where is your tree?" (It's kind of cute.)

[I know the actor from Gokusen II, where his name is Ryu, and he is, again, delightfully slashable with his archenemy-who-quickly-becomes-his-best-friend. Named Hayato. They're cute. Neither is as cute as Takeda, who I was absolutely convinced (for the entire first half of the show) was going to turn out to be a girl in disguise so that she could attend the school, which was a boys' school. I'm still not convinced she won't. That person is just too damn effeminate to be male. I'm sorry. There is just no way.]

I read something somewhere about death being the final closing parenthesis on life, & dreams, waking up for real. I think it would be a bracket. Like in math. The largest pair of parentheses are square brackets. (I miss math. I miss being able to type on my TI-82 without looking at the keypad. That was probably among my better skills.)

I was watching Firefly and I had the thought that it would be really cool to have an EU like there is for Star Wars, only perhaps it would be strictly for the minor characters, and they wouldn't be allowed to touch the real plot. But a semi-canon anthology of the characters in the bar at the beginning of Shindig or Train Job, for example, or even better- Persephone's docks- would be great. And not just because the goth bartender is cool-looking.

I have nothing to say. I'm rambling because I don't feel like stopping. So it goes, and so it goes. I made my own coffee a few days ago, maybe a week or two, I don't remember. Anyway I put in all manner of things, just to see what would happen, also because the only milk we had was spoiled- vanilla extract, and cinnamon, and cloves, and honey, and whatever else I could think of. And it tasted like water until I got to the dregs, and then it tasted like poison.

(Daniel Wolf just called to cancel his reservation for 6:15 tomorrow morning. Seeing as it's 1:30 am, he was kind of surprised that someone picked up the phone. I wish I could have thought of a good response to him when he said so, but my wit is slow.)

Today I drove to work. It was panicky. I heard some good songs on WKAR, it being Folk Tradition/Sampler on Sunday. There was a nice one called Mr. Fox or something, a capella with a refrain of the wall being high with a funny interval. Creepy songs was with the Tradition, it being near Halloween, and the Sampler was "more time," but I didn't get to hear much of that. I parked on the fourth floor (these spots reserved for Michigan Flyer by permit only) and then, just because I never had before, I walked on up to the roof of the parking ramp.

I wonder why I'd never done that before- at least not in recent memory. The sun was setting and I could see for ages. It was cold and lovely.

Then I went to the office, and Eema was like " chickened out of driving and just walked here, didn't you" because I was all freezing cold.

I've nothing to say. I've nothing to say nothing to say nothing nothing nothing to say say say say say say... (do I ever? Answer is NO.)

Have been attempting to write a full game of Questions. It's hard, really hard, and is actually far less entertaining to read than I wanted it to be. Sigh, sadness. I hate the fact that I never write anything good.

I'm hungry/sleepy/bored/have too much to do tonight.

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Am not better. Have fallen in love with the Voyager crew, with the slight exceptions of Paris and Bellana, who are still pretty boring. Tom Paris is your standard prettyboy/flyboy and the only time I like him much is when the doctor pokes fun at him, because DOCTORLOVE. I was also sad that Kes pulled a traveler/Wesley Crusher, though I have to say, I predicted exactly how she would leave, and when, too, because Seven showed up and was blond, and you can only ever have one blond woman on the ship.

Mysteriously, I seem to have warmed to Tuvok. I guess I started to like him in the episode where Kes was going all alternate-plane-of-reality. When he was teaching her to meditate and play with fire he was still just as boring as ever, but then I started liking him when he tried to mind-meld with her. It was the first time I'd seen him do something that was difficult, something that broke his facial expression, something to help his crewmate instead of just following orders. Going back for J and C didn't affect my view of him because it was too much discussed. That moment, and when he told the American soldiers "Welcome to Saint-Claire." hah.

I thought that the dinosaurs were adorable, and totally want one for a pet; too bad their episode was so horribly unsubtle. "Heresy against doctrine" indeed. I enjoyed when the other lizards made everyone think the holodeck was real and made them part of the French Resistance in WWII. That was also kind of trippy, because lizard-aliens in Nazi uniforms carrying rifles around a spaceship? is a strange thing indeed. But the costumes were awesome, particularly the ones on Tuvok (yay white tux), Janeway (yay white tux with coattails), Seven (shiny hairpieces), and Chakotay (Ha ha! American soldier!). On Paris the uniform just seemed natural. He's just kind of an interchangeable character.

I was screaming at them throughout the first half of Year of Hell, "Remember Kes? Kes who told you important things like, oh, AVOID THESE GUYS AT ALL COSTS?!?!?" And then I was a little sad at the end, because you can't just make that year Not Have Happened. I mean, yes, I'm glad that they're all okay and Janeway isn't as hardend and everything and they didn't have to go through ALL THAT, but still, it was... important. Significant. And it felt wrong to cancel out everything that they'd gone through, all the bravery they'd shown. Even if it's better that they didn't have to go through it.

'S like Mal, I guess. Yeah I would have been happy for him if he'd never had to see Serenity Valley, but everything that it made him was. Important. Undeniable. I wouldn't wish it on him, but. meh.

I surprised myself by not hating Janeway/Chakotay. It's well done. Heck, I surprised myself by not hating Chakotay. Who knows? Harry has a crush on Seven but it's not overdone, at least not yet, Paris and Belanna I couldn't care less, but I'm glad I don't actively hate them.

The Doctor reminds me of Rodney McKay without the paranoia and snark. Like a really pleasant Rodney McKay. It's just the smug expression he gets, or the way he enjoys reminding everyone of what a genius he is, and the way sometimes he just completely fails to comprehend things.

I like Seven. I like when Paris was trying to convince her to play Captain Proton (or whatever) on the holodeck, and she is supposed to distract this robot and
SEVEN: I am Borg! *pwn*

I just kind of like that about her. That and her insistance that stuff is irrelevant.

(I do miss Data.)

Tessie's been putting up with me marvellously all day, which is nice of her. I'm irritable because I'm hungry but I don't feel like I could keep anything down. It's frustrating. I'm also achy and dizzy and nauseated and just lousy. bleh.

I've put Oklahoma! on hold at the library, though whether it will come depends. I may have too much stuff out overdue. *looks innocent*

I haven't got much to report, and I don't feel like reporting much anyway. So


Bad mood

Feb. 11th, 2006 11:13 pm
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All right, this is going to be just one long entry of Leora complaining and kvetching and being generally whiny, and annoying.

Yeah? You're still reading? Then I'm going to let loose, my friend, and you cannot say I didn't warn you.

Seriously, turn back now. I won't think any less of you for not reading my whining whiny-ness.

I don't even feel like going into all the reasons for my mood, and yes, they are numerous, ranging from the mundane of "I am so **** frustrated with my not ever getting anything done, ever," to more not-real, such as good books in which I come to care about the characters end depressingly, to more profound "nothing gold can stay" in general state of the world.

That one story with Julia singing the chicken soup song that I read a while ago said something to the extent of, if you ever find a moment when you can look around and think "I am truly happy, right now," then you can just mark that moment as the beginning of the end.

Which is a horrible way of looking at things, admittedly, but that doesn't make it any less true.

I want to be happy. Ha ha ha, no, that's not even right. I want to- I don't even KNOW what I want right now, all I know is that I WANT, and I want so much that it is painful.

Mmm. On a tangent, I think I understand why some guys hate women. (what a weird way to put it! That's not what I meant.) What I meant was, the concept of a... minx. Yes, a minx, a fox, whatever. Like Yo-Saff-Bridge in Firefly, exactly like her. The sort of woman who is stunningly beautiful and knows the exact things to say and do to make whoever she wants fall in love with her, and inside she is laughing at him because she doesn't care one fig for him, but she knows that she means the world to him, or at least the woman he thinks she is means the world to him. And then she breaks his heart and walks away without a care to find her next unsuspecting victim, and he's just left there looking at all the pieces of his heart strewn about and is angsty and stuff.


Because they KNOW how well they can write, how beautiful their words, how poor, gullible people like me cannot help being drawn into the story and CARING so terribly much about the characters and the story and their lives, and wanting so desperately much for them to be alright, they have this wonderful talent and they could be using it for so much good and they use it ONLY FOR EVIL, first they draw me in and I fall in love with these characters and then they do horrible tortury things to them and I am so helpless or maybe they even make it look like everything's going to turn out fine, but then they have to go and kill them off or break their hearts or just be nasty and then say, "Ha ha, THE END, everyone's dead or otherwise unhappy" and then I cry. I cry bitter tears.


YES I KNOW am I absolutely certifiable, go away world. *curls up into a little ball of miserable!Leora*

(Also I promise you all I'll be better in the morning, so don't waste energy worrying over me.)

Eru, I miss you all.


Feb. 8th, 2006 12:38 am
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Jayne comes onboard Serenity and meets Kaylee. By... er, I forget, but not by me. Short little piece, so I won't bother to cut.

Prairie Harpy Meets Big Lug

Jayne Cobb couldn’t believe his luck. He was all manner of excited over the fact that he was gonna get his own bunk and full run a the galley. He was lugging his duffle into the cargo hold when he spotted her. She was arguing with a stupid lookin’ blond hun dan who was pointin’ at a piece a go-se mule.

"Now that ain’t right, Bester! Wash put a lot a work into that mule, and it ain’t fair a you to try and take it!" She was yelling. Jayne took a full, measuring look. It was killin’ her to yell at him.

"Yeah, but I worked on that engine, kept it tuned. I ain’t givin’ it to some dumbass captain and a prairie harpy that stole my job!" Bester yelled right back, leaning forward so he could glare her down. She looked close to breaking down, and Jayne couldn’t explain what happened next.

He remembered dropping his duffle and stalking over towards the pair, jerking back the man by his collar and head-butting him. She gasped in shock and stared at him for a full second before grinning brightly at him. He dropped Bester to the ground and rubbed a hand across his face. She leaned forward and pecked him on the cheek.

"Aw, hell." Now he’d done lost all his intimidatin’ manner.

Hee hee! That made me laugh.

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Your results:
You are Jayne Cobb (Mercenary)
Jayne Cobb (Mercenary)
Wash (Ship Pilot)
Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)
Derrial Book (Shepherd)
Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic)
A Reaver (Cannibal)
Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)
Inara Serra (Companion)
Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)
River (Stowaway)
Although you can be a good fighter
and good at protecting others
you are not very bright sometimes.
Click here to take the Serenity Firefly Personality Test


...wait. Most people wouldn't think it's a good thing...

Oh well! Hooray, I get the awesomest hat in the entire show!

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Person #1: Viktor Krum
I was sitting near the front and he was standing above me, so I could watch him and he didn't notice. I swear, this is *exactly* how I pictured Viktor Krum from the books. Tall, hooknosed, with a thin, angular face and caterpillar eyebrows, olive skin, dark shaggy hair- this guy practically screamed "European Soccer Player." See, this is how a guy with this description can still be attractive. OH did I mention his awesome Russian hat? I kid you not. This guy was wearing a Russian fur cap. It made me smile.

Person #2: River Tam
You know that face River gets when she's concentrating on something? Yeah, so concentrating!River was sitting a few rows down from me. I was on the sideways seats again, so I could see her clearly, and she looked JUST like River. Same hairstyle, same face, same expression of concentration. What she was concentrating so hard on, I have no idea.

More later.

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"She looks like she's wearing one of those flimsy, gauzy, hippy-ish blouses that is typically worn with either jeans, or one of those long, wrinkly bohemian skirts. In solid colors sometimes, though usually in paisely or some other mind-bending array of patterns.

Elite Owl's eBay link looks like a pretty faithful representation. I couldn't give a name to what I am describing if my life depended on it.

My ex had one in tan that was so see-through you could... that her... it was a great top.

I'll be in my bunk."

Shoujo manga and Firefly... who ever thought those two would mix?

Also, I was looking at manga at Schuler's the other day and was very bitter at a Shinsengumi shoujo manga thinger. I mean, I don't claim to know anything about Japanese history at all, but this sort of historical fan-wank is just downright disrespectful. These people were soldiers, and considered (according to the few sources I've read) to be among the greatest group of swordsmen Japan had ever seen. Yes, they were human, but they weren't clowns. If I were the ghost of a Shinsengumi member I would haunt the manga-ka. Haunt haunt haunt.

Mmm, I'd like to be a snake. I think that would be nice.

There was a snake in my dream though. It bit me and my mother and six other people and I had to call 911 and talk on speakerphone because I couldn't control my arms anymore. It was really scary. Also I got a puppy. (in my dream.) And I was a son of the Stark house and we lived in a house made of Duplo blocks stacked up really high to make a really precarious bridge above this huge chasm. And then I was that girl from Oklahoma and Curly or whatever his name is was bidding against Jed (can't forget his name, ever, because it was given to him to rhyme with "dead") for my picnic basket, and then I was Hermione at the Yule Ball with Viktor Krum, and I was trying to avoid Jesse Shields. Mr. Fountain said hello and asked the name of my puppy, and I walked in circles around my garage until I rememberd "Jared." And then the Skeksies from the Dark Crystal walked in and yowled at me but I yowled back.

A much more entertaining dream than I've been having lately. I thoroughly enjoyed it, except for the poisonous wooden snake in the MSU agricultural center.

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Of course, it's from the perspective of Spike Spiegel, but this is *exactly* why I will never watch the last few episodes of Bebop. Or Kenshin. And I never intended to watch the entire last disc of Firefly, either, but I caved on that because I remembered that the show had been cancelled so the writers had never given it a proper ending.

"But that wasn't what kept him from killing Vicious that night. He was not afraid to kill and he did not fear death. But there was one thing in this world that did scare Spike. There was one thing that shook him to his seemingly unflappable core. Spike Spiegel feared closure.

Spike was a purgatory kind of guy. He loved limbo and the lack of definition that came with it. He wasn't comfortable with committing himself fully to black or white, but he appreciated the gray, that hazy place between the rock and the hard place where his dreams weren't dead and gone but simply unrealized. It was the place where he had a future.

He just didn't know what it was.

And he loved not knowing. He thrived on not knowing. Because the second he knew for sure, than the story of his past would be over. His best friend would have turned on him, his lover would have deserted him and he himself would have abandoned the very people he cared for. If he cut his ties than the story would be finished. And he did not care for the ending.

So he clung to the What If's and the If Only's like a lifeline. He kept his past meandering about, waiting to strike whenever he got comfortable. He needed that uncertainty. He needed to keep it alive, gasping for breath on some sort of mental Euthanasia, because it was too much of himself to surrender.

Vicious, he knew, felt the same. He knew it because Vicious showed up tonight and he knew it because Spike himself was still breathing. He knew it because they were friends, and what are allies, really, then two men with a common enemy?"

Also, from the same story, during a flashback scene. I really really like this authoress, have I mentioned that? Despite the fact that she keeps putting song lyrics in her stories when they're not part of the story. If the characters can hear the song, fine, put it in, but not just for the readers. Still, at one point she had Julia sing the Chicken Soup Song, so I love her forever now.

"I think I've got some brains on my shirt," Spike suddenly noticed, obviously grossed out. "That just isn't right," he sighed as he tried to flick some sort of goo off his person without betraying his cool exterior.

"Merry Christmas," Julia suddenly blurted out, pulling a small package out of her jacket. Spike just looked at her like she had nine heads. "Sorry," she said sheepishly. "I meant to segue into that gracefully but the mention of gray matter officially killed all hope of that."



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